I'm lonely. It's official. A Sunday spent alone and unable to get anyone to hang out with me is pretty sobering. Even E, who never says no said no to me today. And- I was hoping that he would supply me with some coke and adderol. Wah. I really want someone to cuddle with me today. It is the Sunday of my period which always means it stops and then starts again so it is heavy and I can't fuck but I really crave human interaction. I have been sleeping as much as possible. Idle time murders me. Days like today leave me feeling empty and worthless. I beg for someone to serve me tea and wrap their arms around my 25.5" waist but the only male who wants to be around me right now is Giovanni.
Ugh- 7:02! It's only 7:02! I'm so ready for this awful day to be over. David was kind enough to extend a half hearted invite for me to come over tonight and I am almost desperate enough to take it. However, we are getting snow so I can't because it would extend my 15 min drive to over an hour. E still doesn't want to hang. Married guy can't text because his wife his home. S hasn't bothered to contact me because he knows I'm on the rag and doesn't like blow jobs. J is "working" which usually means sleeping with someone younger than me and lying to me about it. My girlfriends are all otherwise involved. My sis is busy with the kids. My dad is doing taxes. I AM SO FUCKING ALONE. If I had an Ambien I could fade to black but E is my Ambien source and he wants nothing to do with me. I've eaten everything I have that is mildly low cal and I think that maybe if I lose a few pounds it would help how I feel. The hot Mexican guy was nice enough to send me a picture of his cock- whoo hoo! Little tiny C was nice enough to offer to smoke with me and when I told him I don't want to get physical it was retracted. If I wasn't broke I could maybe do something but this is rock bottom.
8:45 fighting with J. This is fun.
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