Light at the end of the tunnel

I woke up in the middle of the night with the driest mouth ever from the amount of salt I put on my rare filet before the precious argument with David. Stomach was also acting up and I ended up chatting with J at around 3ish. Then back to bed and finally up and off to work. I have been faced with this odd sort of anxiety lately and a touch of depression but I made a lunch break with an old pal and that warmed me up although it was crashed by a douchebag. Running out of V is just around the corner and I am actually looking forward to it. Not in an "I'm gonna get clean" sort of way, but in a forced break so that not only do I no longer need David as a source, when I find my own source the buzz will be good bc I will have had a chance to detox for a bit. Silver lining, eh? Also, although I didn't sell anything today; I felt really good and as though I'm coming into my own at work. AND then- to top it all off, I get a call from my old employer offering me part time/temp work! This means I can work to fill the lonely time and dig out of this financial quagmire I am in. Life will be good again. My stomach still has that dull ache that accompanies not just depression but this weird anxiety that I've been dealing with but I know it will all be okay. If only I could train Giovanni to say "every little thing, gonna be alright" and stroke my hair. But; my mom and sis were both pretty excited for me and I celebrated by charging (I know but this ain't an overnight fix and the bank says no more bounced checks) some food at target and new undies for my nieces because the hairbows I got them for Easter just didn't seem like enough. I also got in a quick workout and was at 127.6 which put a smile on my face although I haven't felt attractive or sexual in days. I'm gonna end the night with a puff and some reading and like Scarlett says "after all, tomorrow is a new day" (I think she said that)